This book is why shame shelves are created. I'm not really into romance, aside from the Jennifer Echols variety, but I thought I'd give this a try because every other book in LAPL's e-library is a romance and I love Christmas -- like, feel it in my fingers and feel it in my toes love. Now I wasn't expecting much because hello -- cover, title -- but I figured I'd be in for some good smut or at least some hot leading men. Let's start with the description of the two leading men."While JJ's fashionable sunglasses hung from his neck on a neon yellow cord, Duncan had left his dark shades in place. A black sports band creased his damp hair from ear to ear." Rawr, baby.But surely guys of such fashionable sunglasses have hot sex, right? Who knows because the all the sex in the first 80% of the book happens off the page! Why do you think people are reading this, author whose name I couldn't be bothered to look up?? For your descriptions of "the purely female lobes of her ears"? And why didn't you clarify what makes earlobes female? Should I be worried a man may find my earlobes too male for his taste?! So after the majority of the book being spent with our sexay lead character Duncan having more chemistry with his 80-year-old landlady than the female protagonist, he finally gets to have the sex -- not with the 80-year-old landlady unfortunately. Not only is he having the sex, he's having shower sex! Now, if you've actually had shower sex, you know that unless it's with a Viking god, it is the least sexiest thing ever. When hot water isn't blinding you, you have to make sure you don't slip on all the sexy soap. Seriously, all I was thinking as the author described his burning ache, her wet skin, and the berry-scented bubbles that foamed around her feet, ooooh, was, This bitch is gonna fall and hit her head! In conclusion, this is my opinion on my first foray into romance: